The Thin line between Life and death
Fall - 2017
I've been through a lot of things, I saw things that sort of nasty, i also saw Good days.
Even the hardest moment i live, i never give up. I thought and i believed that suicide is the only permanent solution of
my loneliness ,suffering.But i was making a big mistake.By being selfish , i was letting my family down.
I had to dispose off that thought, so i did. I dedicated myself to a case, which is tough ,for my future legacy.
And i won't give up on this.
You know, when the autumn, a tree shed its all leaves and you think that "so-called" dying tree is never gonna come to life again.
Well i'm that tree and the spring is near. I will born from my ashes and i will shout that "I'M ALIVE"
That old lunatic person is now a history. Yet Mercy and kindness is still with me i can feel it, God is still with me and when it comes to feel that, that is easy ;
i'm closing my eyes, touching my heart and i see that warm, welcoming visual of him. Nothing is permanent but change.
By requirements of human nature, people think that they're "special" at some points.
that is neither true nor wrong. You'll never know that because life is like a mountain, you climb, you fall down, you climb again, you fall again. It's a loop.
It's all about staying strong as rock and not giving up. That's how you earn a meaning of life.
Part One - The Weapon
Mid September. It was a Cold Night. I was walking on a empty street, i was just fired from my job on that day, i was on my own for real. I was living in exile.
You know what ? that day i didn't even scared of death. I wanted it, there was nothing left to keep me from pulling the gun and destroying myself.
After this, i realized that becoming a alcoholic or a crackhead only could've make me a fool besides destroying me up inside.
I buried all my sadness alongside my dreams and i continue to my path stumbling.
Part Two - The cure
I was a fucking bastard who see himself responsible about all happened.
I wouldn't knew that someday i think about myself like this.But i made there so far.
However there wasn't a force that can put me to ground.And then made a decision and didn't let my family down.
I look to mirror and i realized once more that i was carrying the cure for my own sickness since from the beginning. Knowing this felt like i fooled myself.
Part Three - The desolated spirit
I cried, i cried, i cried. And when my tears dried, i find out that i actually walked from the mossy path all the time.
Death was a end indeed but definitely not a escape. Despite these, Happiness took the place of my big depression.
I was realizing that there are things i wanna give a hug yet i look them from far. That comfort wasn't too far actually.
It was hiding inside of me since the beginning, took years to accept this truth. As you can see i was continuing to fight.
And the person who reads this, whoever you are ; Do not stop! Do not wait! Start moving your ass!
It's actually the beginning when you think everything is end and fucked up, Do not give up! Do not let them laugh at you or your loss!
Straighten Yourself Up! Look at mirror and you'll see that you are the cure, not the weapon. Peace and power inside of your soul, all the time.
And on this day you will come back to life and draw your own path just like me.
With your passions and talents, every little thing that makes you unique is still with you.
There is only one favor left i want you to do is,
getting rid of that your old, stinky shell Mr/Ms Snail ..
A letter from help-seeking person who really is desperate
I've been through a lot of things, I saw things that sort of nasty, i also saw Good days.
Even the hardest moment i live, i never give up. I thought and i believed that suicide is the only permanent solution of
my loneliness ,suffering.But i was making a big mistake.By being selfish , i was letting my family down.
I had to dispose off that thought, so i did. I dedicated myself to a case, which is tough ,for my future legacy.
And i won't give up on this.
You know, when the autumn, a tree shed its all leaves and you think that "so-called" dying tree is never gonna come to life again.
Well i'm that tree and the spring is near. I will born from my ashes and i will shout that "I'M ALIVE"
That old lunatic person is now a history. Yet Mercy and kindness is still with me i can feel it, God is still with me and when it comes to feel that, that is easy ;
i'm closing my eyes, touching my heart and i see that warm, welcoming visual of him. Nothing is permanent but change.
By requirements of human nature, people think that they're "special" at some points.
that is neither true nor wrong. You'll never know that because life is like a mountain, you climb, you fall down, you climb again, you fall again. It's a loop.
It's all about staying strong as rock and not giving up. That's how you earn a meaning of life.
Mid September. It was a Cold Night. I was walking on a empty street, i was just fired from my job on that day, i was on my own for real. I was living in exile.
You know what ? that day i didn't even scared of death. I wanted it, there was nothing left to keep me from pulling the gun and destroying myself.
After this, i realized that becoming a alcoholic or a crackhead only could've make me a fool besides destroying me up inside.
I buried all my sadness alongside my dreams and i continue to my path stumbling.
I was a fucking bastard who see himself responsible about all happened.
I wouldn't knew that someday i think about myself like this.But i made there so far.
However there wasn't a force that can put me to ground.And then made a decision and didn't let my family down.
I look to mirror and i realized once more that i was carrying the cure for my own sickness since from the beginning. Knowing this felt like i fooled myself.
I cried, i cried, i cried. And when my tears dried, i find out that i actually walked from the mossy path all the time.
Death was a end indeed but definitely not a escape. Despite these, Happiness took the place of my big depression.
I was realizing that there are things i wanna give a hug yet i look them from far. That comfort wasn't too far actually.
It was hiding inside of me since the beginning, took years to accept this truth. As you can see i was continuing to fight.
And the person who reads this, whoever you are ; Do not stop! Do not wait! Start moving your ass!
It's actually the beginning when you think everything is end and fucked up, Do not give up! Do not let them laugh at you or your loss!
Straighten Yourself Up! Look at mirror and you'll see that you are the cure, not the weapon. Peace and power inside of your soul, all the time.
And on this day you will come back to life and draw your own path just like me.
With your passions and talents, every little thing that makes you unique is still with you.
There is only one favor left i want you to do is,
getting rid of that your old, stinky shell Mr/Ms Snail ..
A letter from help-seeking person who really is desperate
